This Blog Post Has the Word “Sex” in It

frustratedGreetings!

This is your friendly neighborhood blogging pastor, and I would like to talk to you today about sex. That’s right; sex. You cringed a little bit didn’t you? You are also probably wondering why a pastor would be talking about such madness…Well, I am so you get the benefit of my thoughts today. The reason you slightly cringed when I told you my subject for this post was because you couldn’t imagine things like church and sex being remotely connected. They are. More than you know.

Unless you were some weirdo, there is no way you enjoyed the 5th grade “talk” about the birds and the bees. Guys and girls would be split up for their gender appropriate talks. Guys would learn about their bodies and, girls would have their pillow fights and do make up or something…I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Anyway, my point is, sometimes this subject makes us uncomfortable and it is taboo in mixed company…but why?

Sex has become so uncomfortable to talk about because, for the most part, we have allowed our culture to define what it is. It is an act that is performed by two parties who want the other to love them more and make them feel valuable. Of course I am being sarcastic about this, but it is almost true according to what we see everyday.

Last night, I was watching a TV show and a comment was made that nearly cause my jaw to hit the floor. Long story short, a few girls were talking about the previous night and all of them except one had sex with the man they were dating. The girl who did not was crying, because she didn’t feel loved and appreciated by this man. She also questioned whether this guy liked her at all or not. WHHHAAAAAATTTTTT????????!?!?!?!

Oddly, enough I wanted to cry too. AND, it was for all of the exact reasons why this lady was crying on TV. I was grieving because she did not feel loved. I was in sorrow because she did not feel appreciated. Most of all, I was frustrated because she thought that sex was the way to get these needs met. I guess even part of it was the fact that I have a beautiful daughter and I thought about the world she will grow up in.

Folks, I am no sex expert but I can tell you one thing. Looking at the “dirty deed” in this way leads to destruction. Every human being was created as a valuable vessel for God’s mission. We can either reject that or embrace that purpose. In our culture, we are told that couples have to “try each other out” to see if they are compatible. Do we realize how much that destroys the value that humans were created to have? Looking at sex in this way tells the other person that, in order for you to be loved by me, I must see if you meet my needs wants first. Thus, I am going to use you until I feel better, and when I don’t feel better, I will move on.

This set of thought processes are what leads to dissolving marriages, rape, depression, and even addiction. These are the people I see paraded through my counseling office…the hurt, broked, and used. In pain and jaded abut humanity in general.

Why are we doing this to ourselves? The pain that comes from this type of life breeds more pain…and then trying to cope with this pain on our own hurts others in many cases. Let’s redeem what this subject is all about. Sex was created by God as a way to serve each other and fulfill the ancient mission of multiplication.

Don’t allow the culture to feed you lies.

-Landon DeCrastos

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A Forest in a Tree

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If you have ever noticed as you are talking to me, I wear a silver necklace. I have worn this same necklace for many years and some people have made the remark that they notice I never take it off. There is a reason for that… it is a reason that has actually evolved over time, but now I understand its full weight. This necklace, given to me by my girlfriend (now wife) so many years ago was actually a replacement to a necklace I wore nonstop that started to fall apart. To tell you what it symbolizes will require a story…

Do you ever get the feeling you are being watched? 16 years ago, as I walked through a children’s neighborhood park, I had this feeling. I felt as if I were being followed or watched or stalked. My curiosity was overwhelming so I started to look high and low for the culprit. It was only me and a friend walking in this area so it was an odd feeling to have. As I tried to get my mind off of the concept, I looked up and I found the source. A little boy had climbed a tall tree and was watching every move we made.

We were in this park as a result of being on a mission trip with our youth group to North Dakota. The youth group had split into 3 groups

and our smaller group mission was to clean up this park and to teach object lessons (and play with) kids that we found there. The problem was…there were no kids at this park….well, except this small boy hiding in the tree.

Later, we found this woman who had walked to the park and told us she was this boy’s aunt. We found out the boy’s name was Forest and he was 4 years old. The aunt was somewhat nervous because this particular park had a reputation as a drug dealing hub. Forest was in danger simply by playing at this park.

After a few days of our mission, we saw more and more children come to play at this park. We cleaned it up and made it usable. Parents came to greet us, bring lemonade, and thanked us for making this park a safe play area once again. These children came as a result of Forest and his family spreading the word that the park is now a place of fun… drug dealers, for some reason had moved on to another spot to do business.

At the end of the week, I bought a necklace because I wanted something to remind me of this event. Now, this necklace reminds me of two important truths.

  1. Anything that seems hopeless or lacking worth can be redeemed for good.
  2. Sometimes that which seems weak (4 year old boy) is just what God uses to penetrate the darkness.

-Landon DeCrastos