I weigh 200 lbs. There, I said it. I weigh 200 lbs. It is not all muscle either. I am only 5’6” and this makes me obese. That may not sound like much in your opinion, but I have been struggling with an addiction most of my life.
For a lot of you reading this, you will skim through the statistics and make some joke of it like I often do. Please don’t.
We do this because many times, when we talk about our waistline , and other habits we hope that, if we make a joke of it, people will not notice the sin that is consuming us. Welcome to my struggle. One of sin, and a desperate fight for salvation. I am addicted to food. Iam not talking about the fact that I like to eat. I mean it bothers me when people leave uneaten food on their plate. I don’t mind being that guy who eats the last…well…anything. As a pastor, it is difficult to preach on things like addiction when I am struggling through one of my own. Except, for some reason, mine is more socially acceptable. People need to eat.
My grandfather on my Dad side died when he was 66 years old. He died in 2000, and he did so after giving up on life. He had been struggling for years with diabetes, chronic pain, multiple heart attacks, and a few strokes. These were all symptoms of a food addiction. I look a lot like him. I have the same king of beard, the same build, and the same thinning hair on the top of my head. He had a passion for writing and I have actually featured his writing on my blog. My grandmother had to hide food from him and yelled at him when got into the stash of those yummy candy orange slices. My grandmother also battled a similar addiction and died of heart failure due to the vice. After her death, my grandfather gave up and told us he did not want to go to dialysis anymore. Then…it was only a matter of weeks. He was gone.
So, here I am now. I am 200 lbs…which is actually the heaviest I have ever been. I have severe back pain, and I get winded easily. Getting on the ground and playing with my children makes me tired. I have been perfectly okay with my sin for far too long. It is time to do something about it. Something has to change.
I know what you are thinking. You have read some workout magazines or saw on Pinterest that it is not the pounds that matters but the waistline or the ratio of muscle to fat. Well…either way I need to lose weight. I need to break free of the chains of what is holding me down. What I have realized is that whether it is a sin that is out in the open or one that is behind closed doors…we suffer because of what tries to pull us down, and we subsequently give in to.
So, one thing I have felt led to do is to attack my most ferocious demon. Sweets. I am a sugar-o-holic. I am going to cut out desserts, and other kinds of sweets for 90 days. Along it this, I am going to dramatically increase my water intake. I am not focusing on pounds, but I beleive as I lose weight, I will grow.
Pray for me and help keep me acountable and I keep you updated on my progress. I specifically want to thank my trainer, John Powers, and my wife who have been the most recent people in my life encouraging me to be better in this area.
I want to be free. I want God to be glorified in my life. It is about more than losing weight. It is about attacking Hell. It is about showing my kids that they do not have to be controlled by their bellies and can fully run after Jesus to fulfill them.
I want to live.