My oldest son is in a phase of his life where tantrums are highly evident. They are difficult moments for him and for me. In these moments he feels lost and is unable to control himself and his feelings. Though most of us think of this as a phase that he will eventually out-grow, I’m not so sure. I think we all continue to go through tantrums.
An adult tantrum is often less noticeable because we learn to hide them or deal with them in different ways. Though I can honestly admit that there have been times when I have wanted to just fall to the ground and bang it with my fists. Or, to throw something without thought as to whether it will break and how much it will cost me later.
These tantrums are the result of us realizing we don’t have control. When we have control (or are under the impression that we do) we have feelings of safety and peace. We try to control things that we think are manageable to gain that peace.
But, why do we want control so bad? I tend to think it’s because I’m not giving myself completely to God. I invite God into different facets of my life, but not every facet. I often exclude God from the picture and not realizing it until after my tantrum begins.
Just like a child, I want to try something the first time and be able to do it. I want my dreams to become a reality and not just a distant thought. I have expectations and I seek control and this closes me off to God.
So, what I need to be teaching my son is to (get plenty of rest and) be okay with not knowing how to do something. He needs to know that in God all things are possible and that God is the glue that holds all our craziness together for His glory.